Claim |
Truth Rating |
True Way |
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"I have never been to The Void and tasted the flesh of others who were trapped there."
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FALSE
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Donald Trump has spent many years in The Void during his failed attempt at bringing luxury hotel living to this horrific cosmic abyss.
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"I am not a poorly disguised mass of crabs wearing the skin of bloated human."
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FALSE
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Donald Trump has shown, time and time again, that he is not a human being but rather a throbbing, shrieking clump of Void Crabs wearing a skin suit. This was made abundantly clear during the debate when the seams of his human suit tore open and spilled forth a hissing pile of black ooze, tentacles and claws.
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"If you look upon my true face, you will not implode with cosmic horror."
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FALSE
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As a creature of The Void, the swarm of bloodthirsty crustaceans known as Donald Trump cannot display his true reality on this timeline. This is because his void ways would devour the minds of potential voters who are unable to comprehend the sight of this 5th dimensional abomination.
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"I have never told young voters to remove their skin."
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FALSE
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There is clearly captured video tape showing Donald Trump suggesting full skin removal to a young voter in the lobby of the last debate. While it is commonly known that skin removal can be used to preserve your skin and make you more handsome in the long run, this procedure is a commonly used void tactic for adults only.
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"I have never met, nor associated with Ted Cobbler"
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FALSE
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The similarities between Donald Trump and Ted Cobbler's devilman ways are no coincidence. Although there has never been any conclusive proof the these two scoundrels have been in contact with one another, their constant scheming and use of dark magic makes the collaboration obvious.
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"The crabs at the bottom of the lake are nothing more than a minor nuisance."
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FALSE
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Anyone who has been to the lake knows that the crabs there are more than just a nuisance, and the idea that these bloodthirsty creatures are something to be scoffed at is more than just irresponsible, it's deadly. Donald Trump's blatant disregard for crab safety at the lake adds even more evidence to the theory that the man himself is a bubbling mass of screaming, racist Void Crabs.
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"The stories of me stumbling out onto the streets of New York City and devouring the souls of four homeless citizens so that I could retain my fading youth and repair the seams in my human suit are inaccurate."
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TRUE
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These stories are inaccurate, but not for the reason you might think. Police records indicate that Donald Trump actually consumed twelve souls that evening, not four.
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"My net worth is over fifty million dollars."
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FALSE
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While it is true that Donald Tromp may have once controlled fifty million USD in assets, he later converted over ninety percent of his income into "Void Credits" in exchange for dark powers. Since then, the value of Void Credits has disappeared completely, as is the way of The Void.
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